Regarding a journal on DA

The last time I was genuinely sad was when my dog died. I remember that regardless of all bad things that happened in my life, she would still be there, sitting on my lap and trying to cheer me up, protecting me from my mother and forbidding people from waking me up during weekends. I don't think that much people love their pets like I loved mine, so when she died it was a reminder of how I really hate pain. The first time I felt pain like this was when my father died four years ago, then my cat, and then my dog. Of course I can't say that loosing a pet is as bad as loosing your father, it isn't, but hurt can't be measured and when you are sad and your heart is in pieces you don't really think, you just do the things your emotions tell you to. When I came back home from the vet, right after standing there and watching her die, and a sweet friend's house, I remember strolling the corridor shouting her name, thick tears running down my face. I must have done it for a long time because suddenly it was night and my mother was telling me to shut up. For the nest weeks I would try to pet her, but she wasn't there; I would call her, but she wouldn't come. I loved my dog, and every day that I don't see her is a reminder of how dead people won't come back, that they ceased to exist, almost completely. My father, my favourite person in this world...he won't come back, neither will the cat or the dog, I'm left here missing forever, waiting for a better future that I know nothing of.